What to Do After an Affair Essay

Submitted By spurvis777
Words: 815
Pages: 4

What to do after an affair

This paper introduces a very familiar crisis involving marriage and infidelity. CNN Health posted a story on what to do after an affair. Due to the increase in this particular crisis, they decided to have a discussion on this issue.
Affairs and infidelity are prevalent in today’s society contributing to the increase in divorce rates. In earlier days, marriages survived even through and during infidelity. It was a man’s duty to work and provide for the family. A woman was expected to get married and raise a family. Often times, this involved staying in a marriage, regardless of the circumstances. Women were homemakers and lacked the education and/or means to support themselves or families. Men on the other hand had the philosophy that providing for the family should be the only expectation of them. Today, many still share this philosophy and continue this way of life. While monogamy is valued among some, it is opposed by others, causing much pain and separation from the family. There have been known excuses for infidelity from a man’s perspective. Such excuses are: uncontrolled desires and urges, high egos and blaming wife lack of trust etc. Despite statistics that state men are more likely to commit adultery, women are also known to be culprit to these acts while using similar excuses. Women are known to be more secretive about their affairs. It is still looked down upon more negatively than with a man usually because of the long track of a man’s behavior. There have also been numerous reports stating that men are responsible for more domestic altercations and deaths related to infidelity. Men are more prone to become more violent after discovering a wife’s affair, whereas women become more emotionally hurt and consider it more a betrayal. A crisis usually evolves feelings of abandonment, feelings of failure, lack in fulfilling ones’ needs and a lack of attention in the marriage along with other contributing factors. Once an affair occurs and a resolution cannot be met, the decision to leave or stay will occur. If a resolution is not reached, the marriage could possibly suffer the consequences. In this case, best case scenario will lead to an intervention. This is when one or both parties will seek help. This is generally a good indicator that both are willing to work things out and still values the relationship. Problems can occur if both parties become involved in receiving advice from family and friends. Support is often a crucial coping tool during distress, but it can also be a confusing time for the individuals. Opinions and beliefs of outsiders can influence important decisions. Therefore, it is important to seek professional counseling and/or therapy. Even though affairs can’t be predicted, they can however be open discussions involving the prospective couple’s thoughts towards this behavior. It is important for each person to express their feelings and how they view this act. This will give the dating couple to predetermine whether to pursue the goal of marriage. Other discussions should include how they would deal with the situation should an affair occur and to determine what marriage means to them. Society offers many…